Friday, January 30, 2009
FUCK UP & PISSED OFF is all i can describe about my feelgs now.!knnccbwtfsomeone please tell me what to do.or please tell me that i can run to somewhere that there's peace, i should have seen it coming long ago !
Before postg anything, i'm very sorry to pollute my blog with so many unglam and uncivilised words. but i guess i've got to write this just to make me feel better ! i really dont understand what exactly is happening with my life now ? there's problem popping up to me every single day in one way or another and its all those problems that are bringing me down. all i want is just to lead a simple life that is fulled with laughter but i guess it can never happen ! this year seems to be th worst year ever.
So, i really dont know whether i should be happy or sad knowing that you still visit my blog occasionally or you just happen to pass by. was i suppose to be happy receiving your message tday or am i suppose to be sad ? is it so difficult to just reply someone's message ? & yet you still bother to ask if my previous post was referring to you. even though if it does or maybe it doesnt, does it really mean anything to you ? i guess NO, it doesnt ! am i suppose to be glad that everything is happening in one time so i'll just have to suffer it once and for all or must i be sad that its happening too sudden and i really cant take it all at once ? i've really got no idea. i've got so many question that even I, myself cant answer and i doubt no one could help me except myself. th confidence that i used to have in myself, th smile that was used to be on my face are lesser and lesser these day. memories are th major factor that is holding me back and forth now and of course there are many other reasons. what am i suppose to do ? move on with life and forget about th past ? i guess so but why cant i seem to do so. sometimes i really think that looking back to the cries would make me laugh; but I never knew that looking back to the laughs would make me cry. i dont know exactly how to explain how vexed i'm feelg now, i've got too much to say and i cant seem to describe it out when i feel like doing it so much. all i know is that i've got enough of this whole thing & i really want to go somewhere that can bring peace into my life. i really want to run away from reality and this world !
Someone out there, please save me before everything get worst ! i seriously cant take it anymore. i'm really too weak to face all this alone, i seriously need someone who can be there for me. perhaps you, but i know it can never happen. & again, dont bother askg me what's wrong or who i'm referring too becuase i will never say. i'm really tired of getting stuck in th middle of this situation.
& lastly, i really want to apologise for blogging out my feelgs here because i cant find other ways to do to make me feel better. i hope you'll understand ! thank you very muchhhh.
P.S. "You could put all the hearts together in the world and that still wouldn't describe how much I love you."
